"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
05/23/2020 at 00:35 • Filed to: Cereal
9
10|
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
05/23/2020 at 00:35 • Filed to: Cereal | 9
| 10 |
This box was alarmingly expensive at $4.18 for what appeared to yet another attempt at repackaging any other chocolate cereal. As I mentioned before in my Chocolate Toast Crunch review, chocolate cereals are seldom good because the bar was set far too high by Cocoa Pebbles, and to a lesser extent Cocoa Puffs. New contenders need a unique twist to stay in the game, which Chocolate Toast Crunch was able to satisfy with its impressive texture and hint of cinnamon.
This Kisses cereal? It has zero redeeming qualities or novelties. I think I would have been happier with almost any other selection.
These are corn-puffy... things... shaped like deformed boomerangs. The texture is initially chalky with boring, flat, cocoa “flavor.” Yet, it still has enough sugar to irritate the inside of your lips. So you get the punishment of having, say, Cocoa Puffs but with the taste of generic sweetened corn balls.
It also appears to be cheaply made. Look at the side of my bowl. The chocolate fixings just melt off all the pieces within seconds of being introduced to the milk. You could actually pull one of these out of the bowl and write your name in what appears to be calligraphy ink.
And like unimpressive generic corn puffs, they WILL NOT ABSORB MILK, and they’re far to hard without it. It’s not like corn flakes or toast crunch where you can eat them dry or right away with a spash of processed cow teat juices. These Kiss Puffs are Molar Busters™.
Sometimes, your prejudices can prevent you from wasting four dollars if you just remind yourself that optimism is for the birds.
Thanks for reading.
boredalways
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 00:39 |
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Wet dookie
CB
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 00:48 |
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I find that this review captures things pretty well, especially the "all chocolate cereals are the same, but this is somehow the worst" vibe.
PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 00:51 |
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smobgirl
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 00:58 |
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I eat my cereal dry so I appreciate knowing that I don’t even need to buy this one. Thanks for your sacrifice!
Chariotoflove
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 01:03 |
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It looks like wet pet kibble when you get that close.
I need my cereals to absorb the milk a little bit before I start eating. Thank you for the public service.
fintail
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 01:07 |
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I’m surprised the cereal industry is still as apparently successful as it is. I guess little devilspawn will always influence shopping habits. This indeed doesn’t look good.
Back in my day, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Pebbles variants were my faves, there was also one called Rocky Road that I liked. It was also hard to go wrong with Alpha Bits or sometimes Lucky Charms or Honeycomb. Then I grew up and liked Nut and Honey Crunch. Today it’s Raisin Bran, Corn Flakes with a spoonful of brown sugar, or in the right location, chocolate muesli.
SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 03:54 |
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As an older gent, it is occasionally necessary to peer into the dunny just to see what you have left behind. I find some of your review images...alarming.
Brickman
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 08:59 |
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I had some a while back, but I didn’t want to spoil the “fun” or lack of :P
It was bland and not even close to eating a mouthful of hershey kisses, also hard as a rock like you said.
Coco a dino bites is the best chocolate cereal :D
Noodles
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 09:40 |
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Good review. It's hard to beat the pebbles.
shop-teacher
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2020 at 10:50 |
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I love cereal, and I love chocolate, but even as a kid I always found chocolate cereal to be disgusting.